Down goes another one
by Readergirl24
Summary: Did the best, that I could Said I'd die for you, and I would But I drowned, all those feelings, in the flood... Pudd,rated T for depression, angsty stuff, enjoy xx


div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"It started small. It started as nothing to worry about, something we could brush over. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"Sometimes you'd be happy, sometimes too happy. Sometimes you'd be low, dull. But the majority of the time, you'd just be yourself. So, we could deal with your occasional mood swings. No big deal. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"But slowly, it became more serious. You'd start to distance yourself from everyone else, even me, your best friend. You would start to avoid everyone, spending hours on your own. You covered it up well enough for everyone else to ignore it. Not me./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I noticed the purple, telltale bags under your eyes. I saw the way you would simply sit there, watching everyone else prepare the stage, the show. You used to be happy. You used to be someone. And now, you're fading into the background. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I remember when you used to be yourself. Oh, how I miss that. I miss you, waking me up at five in the morning, yelling in my ear how if you were awake then I needed to be too. I remember you laughing. I miss your laugh, your smile. It's been a while since I've seen either one. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I miss you enthusiastically practicing your bass. You would learn a good bass line, and you'd show it to me. I would grin at you, tell you how great it was. Don't you remember that? /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"Now you're losing it. You're forgetting how amazing it was before. If only you'd let me help you, I could. I would. You don't understand how much it hurts to see you throw your life away. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I hate seeing you like this. Each night, it's exactly the same. We'll perform, get to the tour bus, and then you're gone. Off to some pub. I don't want to know what happens there. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I don't understand, either. What happened? You used to be amazing. You used to be the boy I would love, truly love. You used to be the dirty minded, unbelievably cute one. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"Remember the time when we were watching a film together, and you told me you loved me? It wasn't that long ago. You had leant your head on my shoulder, happily sleeping. And then, out of nowhere, you said it. 'I love you.' /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I'll never forget that night. Maybe you didn't realise you said it. Maybe you meant to. Either way, it made me love you more, if that was possible./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I guess you're grown up now. You're living in reality. You're not the teenager, the awkward boy who doesn't know how to shave. No, you're the man who has turned drugs to stay alive. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I can't bear this for much longer. You used to laugh and make jokes backstage. Now, you just get ready, and walk off, before show time. I have no idea where you go. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"Before, we would stay up the whole night, laughing about something that happened on stage. Now you come back at three in the morning, stumbling into the tour bus with the hints of alcohol and one night stands. You don't talk to me, even when I insist you tell me what happened. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"I remember hugging you, holding you when you felt down. I remember you jumping onto my bed and lying with me because you'd had a nightmare. You'd happily sleep with me, not caring about what anyone said. Now, you'll push me away when I come near to you. You don't look me in the eye anymore. /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"You don't understand. Those stupid pills don't save you. Nothing is saving you. You need help. If you let me hold you in my arms, if you let me talk to you again, then I could help you. We could go back to what it used to be like. Endless days of fun, instead of endless days of seeing you like this./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;" /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 14px;"Maybe someday, it'll be good again. Maybe, sometime, you'll realise that you need me. But for now, I can only sit and watch as you grow up. Watch as you forget that you matter. /div 


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